Was looking at my past previous post, and i asked myself this question - "Why am I posting my feelings and let people to see it?"

Some said blog is your own personal diary, so there's no right or wrong post? Dont worry ! - Yea I agree to some extent

Some said maybe its an indirect way to tell the your viewers about your feeling? Sort of hinting that kind - Yea I also do agree to some extent.

They said a lot of thing, and i do share a common view with them.

But, when I said that the only way to express my mood and feeling to the people around me is through blogging - they laughed at me. Lol, but i really do have a problem expressing my feeling/mood to any people in the reality world. I don't find it's funny and I think it's rather rude to laugh at someone weakness? So what if im colour-blind and cant express my mood well? I don't see any problem with that.

I remembered I was so angry at someone who made nasty comments about me early this year that I almost "lost control". At first, Yea I'm keeping it cool, i thought it was a joke or something - but it's not. It turn out to be a nasty prank and I fucking hate it. I told her straight in the face i don't like it and I don't wish to hear all those nonsensical stuff longer. Come on, I really treasure every single friendship that I have, but if its getting too serious that kind or whatever you guys fucking call it, I don't mind to lose one. If you guys don't believe me, ask people that they know me.

Whenever my friends need help, I will definitely help if possible. But when i need help, I really don't know who can I ask for help. It's always the same 3-5 person that I can really rely on.

Thinking of it, I remembered my "yo yo" + cheerful + dancing queen council friend Irene ( Hahas what a long description ) told me that, "On Msn also not really useful. I will usually stare at the screen and don't know what to do next." - I totally agree with this man. I thought I will be the only person to feel this but hey ! There's one more ppl feel this way man. It may sounds weird, but Im happy to hear that. Dont ask me why ! =)

Nevertheless, I really learn a lot of things in my JC1 year. I saw more variety types of people, and definitely, I found council as my 3rd home.

In any case, Im trying to forget those people who had really made a negative impact on me - I won't want to lose another friendship.