Maybe Poly life suits me . or perhaps i should go PJC.
i cant gain the trust and respect from my peers around me.
I felt left out and offended whenever i am with them.
Things aren't the same anymore.

Friends are leaving me. They hate me.
They cant understand me, and makes me feel like a retard
They don't respect me, and don't give a damn about me.

Can't find any damn listening ear
I just want to say everything out
and hope that people notices my prescence
but none of them care.
They treat me as their "needed" stuff only
When they need me, they can say lots of nice words
when they don't need me, they treat you as a rubbish

What is this? What's the problem for outshining the others?
I just want to score well in my academic, and trim my leadership skill
But what did i receive in the end ?
Critics, negative responses, and in the end its all my fault.

I feel that i am a complete failure.
I failed for being a good friend.
I failed for being a good leader.
I failed. I failed. I failed.
Yes, I am a complete failure.

I really duunno what to do.
I tried to be social person. But they saiid i just another attention seeker.
I wanted to be myself. Yet they say I am anti-social.
Guys, what the hell you want from me ???
Do your know every critics and comments on me
It will leave a very deep impression and I will feel very guilty.
Who will understand the feeling ?

Having a superhot shower
talking to yourself in the mirror
scratches yourself through out the body
Just to vent your anger out.

Can anybody understand this kind of agony ?
They will just say " Aww~ Another attention seeker guy who loves to play emo "
Lols. How can you understand this kind of agony when you are not experiencing it ?

Look. I have hell lots of friends, a lot of good friend, some best friends. But none understanding friend. Even teachers feel that I am bugging them. My parents says that i am a disappointment to them. My relative says that its a disgrace to have a relative like me to them.

Sometimes i asked myself. Why I am living in this world for ?
I cant gain any respect from anybody out there.
My prescence is ignored at all times.
I am not happy at all.

Can I move back to my primary school days? When I am with aron, alvin, swee kiat they all. Even when i started to neglect my work when i am playing + slacking with them, but i do not mind at all. At least I feel that my prescence is there. Basketball rocks, remember ? Maybe i shouldn't leave them at the first place.

Look at the state I am in now. I am NOT happy at all.